Freakgirl posted an Internet meme over on her blog, which I decided to take part in. Here are the rules:
Here are the rules!
You must have your own blog. And I will be limiting my own interviews to the first three requests. You have to link back to the original post and also to your Interviewer’s post and include the following:
Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Here are the questions Freakgirl asked me, along with my answers. Enjoy!
1. You have a secret identity as a celebrity gossip writer. How did you get that job?
I’d barely graduated from college with a degree in English – while my diploma says “honors,” that doesn’t mean my grades were good, just that I completed a four-year degree instead of three. There was really no way I was going to grad school, not that I wanted to – I was pretty burnt out when it came to school.
I spent a few months waitressing, which was easily the most soul-sucking job I’ve ever had. (Sports bar + Italian neighborhood + the World Cup = KILL ME NOW.) I managed to save up some money and, after a particularly horrible week at the restaurant, I decided to quit and just figure something else out.
Of course, deciding to do something doesn’t mean it happens right away, so soon my days were filled with being bored at home, reading celebrity gossip on the Internet. Very luckily for me, a friend of mine (who is an actual journalist) heard that there was an opening in the “celebrity gossip” field and hooked me up with an interview. I managed to disguise my inherent hate of everything long enough that the editor gave me the job, and BAM! Suddenly I had half a cubicle and an appointment to interview Lauren Conrad. And now it’s two years later and… well, actually, I have an appointment to interview Whitney Port.
2. Do you ever lose your composure interviewing someone you really admire (or really despise)?
Sadly, yes. Interviews terrify me, which is ridiculous, considering my job. No matter who it is, for the couple of hours leading up to the interview, I am filled with a horrible sense of dread because I am really not good on the spur of the moment. (This is why I am a writer – I have time to revise.) Luckily, I’m pretty good at hiding when I think someone is a complete idiot (which is most of the time), but every once in a while, I’ll interview someone from Friday Night Lights or How I Met Your Mother and I’ll get very giggly and gushy. I’m almost over that, but that still doesn’t stop the two hours of “OH, CRAP, I AM GOING TO MAKE AN ASS OF MYSELF” before the interview happens.
3. What is your dream job?
I’d love to be a writer on a TV show, but I completely lack the motivation to do so. Plus, I really don’t like the idea of having to search for a job every time a show goes off the air, and the whole process of dealing with Hollywood politics turns me off completely. If someone wants to give me a bunch of money to create my own show, no strings attached, then fine, but given my personality, I think I’d be more suited to writing novels than convincing other people to give me millions of dollars to create a TV show. Of course, I’m far more suited to sleeping until three in the afternoon than I am to writing novels, so you probably won’t be buying any of my stuff any time soon.
4. What’s your best story to tell at cocktail parties?
Aw, it’s sweet that you think I go to cocktail parties. When I’m at the pub, more likely. I don’t really have a favourite one, but my most recent one is interviewing 50 Cent about his (now cancelled) reality show. His overbearing publicist spent ten minutes telling me what I was allowed to talk about (the show) and what I was not (his music). Then she told me that I was only allowed to call him “50 Cent.” Not “Fiddy Cent.” Not “Fiddy.” Definitely not “Curtis.” She was so intense and insistent about this that when I came time for me to talk to the guy, I was so freaked out that I called him “Mr. Cent.” On the bright side, he found it funny.
And I realize how sad it is that my job takes up so much of my life that it’s the only thing I talk about at social get-togethers, but… yeah.
5. Tell us a favorite memory from your childhood.
For my parents’ 25th anniversary, I was about ten and my sister, Jean, was 16 or 17. There was a big party at our house with many of our parents’ friends and business associates, and Mom and Dad asked that we children come up with a presentation of some kind.
So Jean and I decided to do “The Top 10 Reasons Why We Love Our Parents.” Except we did not treat it seriously at all. Reason No. 10? “They buy us stuff.”
In our family, this kind of humor is very appropriate and appreciated, but, of course, not everyone my parents associate with know that. Or think it’s funny when young children are doing it. So when we got to Reason No. 1, we’d pretty much lost the entire room.
So imagine the reaction when we read out the top reason: “They snort cocaine with us and buy us booze!”
Silence. Well, silence except for our parents losing their shit laughing. And then, slowly, everyone politely laughing along with them – they didn’t think it was funny, no, but at least they knew that Jean and I hadn’t ruined the party. And then, finally, we had the good grace to leave the stage.
Our parents later told us that they thought it was hilarious, but that it probably wasn’t a good idea for us to do speeches like that in the future. Fair enough.
